Art World Undercover #5: Art Basel Miami Beach (Day Two), by Adam Lehrer

During his second day in Miami, Adam Lehrer returns to the fair with his dad while Ye shuts down the Internet

I slept from 6 PM to 7 AM. I feel restored and strong. I stretch in the hotel, hydrate, and drink coffee. I go for a run along the beach. Not very far – perhaps three miles. At the end, I train my back at the fitness center in the Ocean Dr. park, which has an assortment of jailhouse strength training equipment that seems alien to me. Strength, endurance and aesthetic beauty make the work of the Counter-Agent somewhat easier. I now am on the beach, soaking up the power of the sun. Color returns to my face, and vigor to my spirit.

My dad and his partner visit from Ft. Lauderdale, where he recently purchased a home. My dad knows some of what I do, but not all of it. We haven’t seen each other since June. They pick us up at the hotel at noon and we drive back to Art Basel. I’m looking forward to my dad and his partner looking totally mystified by the preposterousness of contemporary art. To see how retarded art must look to a less aesthetically disciplined normie is the kind of shift in perspective that I need right now. We check his car with the fair’s valet service (rich n**ga shit!