Hudson River Ghosts, by Thomas Moore
A new poem by the UK-based writer and friend of SP Thomas Moore
“Hudson River Ghosts”
by Thomas Moore
Above all I need you to know
That this is sincere
No matter how clumsy a “tribute”
I might descend into
I walk to St Christopher Street Pier
And stare at the water at 9am
Silently overwhelmed
And never wanting to connect
With ghosts more than at this moment
If you’re doubting this or me
Or anything that these words
Are searching for
You’ve already misunderstood
And I don’t think you’ll ever grasp
That need to cling to someone
Friends, great loves with no names
I think about men fucking
Raw and hot and fuck you
For thinking I’m missing the point
And fuck you for thinking
That this does nothing
But trivialise
A gay community jogging group
Tuts in unison at my cigarette
So healthy and tanned and
Just like everybody else now
Do you even think
About what guys used to do here
16 dollar smoothies
Instead of poppers
And I can tell you’re already
Misreading all of this
It’s deeper than you think
Like cocks pushing into
Sweaty holes, shit staining
The tips with shadows
Gathering, anonymous cum
Splashing onto our backs
Never so lost and never so
Free and never so scared
And never so high
And confusion is greater
Than any dull, assimilated
Judgement
Not for academia
Not for your ideal self
To pretend you know
How to place this
Not for anything but
The feeling of shooting
Every last drop of cum
Inside you forever
If I was brave enough
I’d throw myself
Into the waters now
Give my bloated body
To the Hudson
And dream of you
While I lose count
Of the number
Of men in my mouth
Shooting down
My throat for infinity
The footsteps that I want
To hear are not in unison
They’re and staggered
Random tempos creaking
Wood, gasps of breath
Spat into the night
More like you than you
Could ever admit
In this new disgusting light
There’s a rainbow flag
Flying as a hint
But I want to write
Your names in permanent cum
I miss these the strangers
More than you’d
Ever understand
Thomas Moore is a UK-based writer that has published both fiction and poetry with publishers like Kiddiepunk and Amphetamine Sulphate. His most recent novel, Forever, can be purchased here from Amphetamine Sulphate.
Illustration by Peter Hujar