Journal Entries: October 2024, by Adam Lehrer

Some of Adam's observations during the early Autumn of 2024

Didn’t watch the Trump/Kamala debate, going to assume it went something like: Journalists audibly applauded when Kamala made a quip without nodding off from the benzo red wine cocktail tail while actively debating against Trump as if they were vessels of Kamala themselves? Yeah, I assumed so.

On training: a friend of mine, on the topic of fitness, told me: “I just can’t fit working out into my schedule, I don’t have the time.”
Indeed, time is of the essence. But all men should make the time to work their bodies. To train the body and sharpen the mind. This doesn’t mean that you have to do what I do, which is an intense am completely devoted bodybuilding routine. A split, if you will. But you should do something, anything, to get the blood flowing through your veins and, hopefully, flooding your muscles. Push-ups in the morning, pull-ups in the evening, sit-ups at your lunch break. Interval sprinting. Stretching. Something. ANYTHING!
A man should be able to throw his own weight around. He needs to be able to defend himself and the people he loves without having to use a gun. He needs his hormones in-check, and firing on all cylinders. Fundamentally, he needs to be IN TUNE with his body. The mind is sharpest when in communion with the body. And to keep the body communicating to the mind and vice versa, you must train. This is what it’s all about. It’s not, excuse the cliché, just about how you look. Of course everyone wants to look good, looking sick is fun! But it’s about how you feel. Preparedness. Discipline. And ultimately, a physical sensation of comfort in your own skin and well-being. That is why we, as men, must train.

This is so fucking stupid. I hate this woman so much I’d gladly Biden be reinstalled as empty headed puppet dictator again. Kamala is uniquely triggering. Same cunty acts like she knows things that she doesn’t personage of the kind of bitches who run PR firms in New York (like my wife’s boss.) Feral horrid women without love and full of bitterness. There’s something uniquely horrible about Kamala that’s directed and aimed at us. Worse than Biden or Obama, because she is so flagrantly stupid, unqualified and obnoxious that it is almost like they are deliberately taunting the white man: “You had it all, you let us take it from you, and now THIS IS WHO RULES YOU NOW”. That demonic motherfucking cackle, the sound of civilizational collapse and Western failure. It chills me to the core. We need to win. I feel, in my bones, that this is the moment of due or die.

Literally was just advertised “at home ketamine therapy” sessions. Like, what the fuck. How are people this FUCKED on drugs all day!? That’s not therapy, that’s dissociation and addiction. Come back to earth you freaks, these companies are trying to enslave you!

Whenever I read Pauline Kael essays my thoughts vacillate between 
“YAS QUEEN”
And 
“Shut up BItCH!”

If I could stack five million I’d be out. I just need enough to buy a house in the middle of nowhere and insure my wife doesn’t have to keep working for her insane PR woman borderline personality of a boss so I don’t have all that negative energy up in my love life

Brazil has made “men’s wellness” a bodybuilding category and it’s an absolute Grand Guignol level horror show. Imagine how sick the people in the audience must have felt. What in the FUCK! I understanding blasting hormonal enhancement drugs to become a fucking huge man, I can even understand blasting cross sex hormones to become a woMAN. But I sure as hell don’t understand taking a bunch of drugs specifically to become a girlish boy man. Uncanny valley activated.

FROM THE DREAM JOURNAL: At some kind of mall complex and a shooter arrives. I jump out the window and have to start catching jumpers outside to escape the shooter. Michelle is taking too long and by the time she comes to jump to me, it’s too late.

Rewatching Girls is amazing. Lena Dunham's series was never a celebration of female self-indulgence, but a pondering of a generation of women that placed value on feminist ambition over true love as its generational malaise. The break-up between Hannah and Adam is BRUTAL upon a re-watch, as you realize the entire character of Adam represented Hannah's opportunity to break the trajectory of all millennial women and be adored unconditionally by a man. Her choice to chase her "art" in a broken industry that'll never give her what she craves is obviously the show's central tragedy.

Given that the one and only time that I met Legs McNeil in person he, completely shit faced, walked up to me, asked me if I was gay, and then proceeded to make a complete fool of himself drunkenly coming onto me, I don't think he has much ground to stand on when it comes to these leftist Alain Delon hit pieces.

Fascism is a construct of modernity, which has long passed us by. The idea that any strong man could come in and execute totalitarian rule over state machinery in 2024 is absurd. There is no state, and the state that exists does so as a smoke screen through which a quagmire of geopolitical GLOBAL interests that are beyond the reach of any single state, even the American state. The best we can expect of Trump is to take back at least some state sovereignty back from that agenda. Fascism is dead. Authoritarianism thrives and prospers, it’s just a form of which we do not yet have the language to define. The new philosophies will emerge once we understand what’s happening now, which we don’t.

Ryan Murphy’s Menendez Brothers series is excellent. While it overplays the taboo homoeroticism between Lyle and Eric (borrowing heavily from Gary Indiana’s book on the subject Resentment) and has to make reference to “white panic” to over emphasize how police prioritize the rich over the poor (no shit) in terms of justice, it’s also just a really well made and hyper addictive extremely well acted rendering of one of the best true crime stories ever
Gary Indiana's Resentment, his book about the Menendez bros, seems to be heavily referenced here. Indiana also wrote the best book on Andrew Cunnanan, who Murphy also made a series about, and is clearly a pretty big influence when it comes to the queer true crime stuff, interesting to see the aesthetic translated to addictive mass audience streaming. Murphy works best when he’s completely unchained to taste, and Monsters Menendez season is as trashy and upsetting as anything I’ve ever seen. Nine hours of dad on son molestation, brother on brother incest, and a completely unhealthy obsession with AIDS, set in prime era Beverly Hills. Delightfully fucked.

I was a junkie for a long time. Getting off hard drugs was a process of trial and error, but it made me realize that the obsessive compulsive tendency that often compels addiction can be a quality of strength if you know how to exploit it. Personally, I redirected all that fractious compulsive energy to training, to building this platform, to love, etc. point is, you don’t have to treat your passionate drives as weakness, you just need to exercise control over it. It takes years of discipline and will, but is well worth it. If you’re struggling with drugs and need someone to talk to, I’m glad to hear from you.

My loyalty will always be with the actual friends I’ve made throughout the formation of this strange subculture, Jack Mason among the first of them. Plus, his work is obviously amazing. I’d never considered perfume as a form of art, did you? I do now, solely because of him. That’s an achievement. That’s a cultural change.

I’m accustomed to artists I’ve grown up admiring being complete fucking retards in the current day, but Robert Crumb’s libtardery hurts. If anyone from that era of boomer artists should understand both Trump’s appeal and the rank hypocrisy and evil of his opposition, it should be him. But nope. His wife likely cucked him into making this atrocity. Embarrassing.

Nuclear war? U mean democracy promotion??


Guys like Thomas Chatterton Williams’ sole purpose in the media are to make the left seem like it isn’t completely bat shit because there are “heretics” within it, but then those “heretics” become the most useful propagandists once election season rolls around. When you took some heat for being vaguely critical of the race hysteria of 2020, you are then primed and ready to overly condemn racism when it comes time to actually elect a Republican to president. I met Thomas once and he seemed nice enough, but “niceness” is the mechanism these guys use to wedge themselves into the affairs of sub-cultures that they can then subvert and destroy. They are spies. They are ops. They should not be allowed into the fucking party.

A tragic movie makes for heartfelt conversation

Kanye just posted Paul McCarthy’s the Painter and it feels spiritually validating

I’ve had some absolute HELLISH LSD trips but you always end up feeling better when it wears off, and certainly you don’t find yourself wanting to do LSD again. It’s not addictive, it can be very frightening but not addictive. Cocaine makes you chitty chat for 25 minutes before you need to do MORE all while suppressing blood flow/causing vasoconstriction and guaranteeing you the worst night of sex ever if you can manage to yammer mouth your way into some girl’s bedroom. 
“Sorry babe ughhh it’s not you ughh”
Yeah coke is trash

It took 80 years for the Soviet leftist government to fail. American libtards got power and the country was literally unrecognizable inside of two…

Brady Corbet, the child actor who learned how to direct by working with Haneke and Von Trier, apparently has made a masterpiece with The Brutalist. He was coming close with the last two films he made, but I still felt he could push harder.
Thank god. America desperately needs young filmmakers willing to make ANYTHING besides trans themed horror at A24.
That said, his interview with the Hollywood Reporter is a highly interesting piece of proof of how deeply compelled Hollywood power players are to make firm anti-Trump statements. Corbet is obviously smart and hip to the culture enough to know that Trump Derangement Syndrome has become “uncool”, so he has to condemn Trump in a way that makes him seem different than his completely retarded and brainwashed careers. Given that his new film is about a Bauhaus architect, he uses ARCHITECTURE as justifying means for his own particular brand of TDS:
“If you examine Trump’s plan with any kind of historical perspective, you very quickly discover that his concept of architecture is very close to Hitler’s and his relationship with Albert Speer. Now, Hitler killed 6 million people,” remarks Corbet. “Donald Trump hasn’t done that yet. So, you can’t equate them. However, the reason that so many of us are so concerned is because this rhetoric is very, very close to Mussolini, Hitler, or Viktor Orban.”
Again, this Hollywood libtard, whom I admire very much artistically, has to align himself with his Hollywood backers politically without making himself seem like a shrill, over emotional retard. So he over-intellectualizes his mainstream political stance with aesthetic and historical knowhow. It’s still libtardism and always is. Excited to see the movie, though.

Cuba Gooding Jr did one movie and a sex trafficking network. That’s his whole career. Diddy showed him the money.

David Ehrlich gave Joker: Folie à Deux a scathing review so I'm really excited to see it now. I’ve even more excited that he believes it’s “deliberately bad,” because I can now envision Todd Phillips and Joaquin deliberately subverting the studio system and fucking it over. Squandering Jewish Hollywood money. There’s something exciting about that.

Just because the art world is an irrelevant cesspool of over educated posers squabbling over the approval of a narrow set of libtard collectors looking to off load their bourgeois and white guilt and acquire some hard assets doesn’t mean art is dead. Just this week I had my mind blown by Ryan Murphy’s Menendez Bros series and the rapper Ka’s new album The Thief Next to Jesus. Ka is a 52 year old firefighter who makes strange raps and beats in his living room. The impulse to will your aesthetic vision unto the world doesn’t die. The industries that supported it until now have died. The only response to such dead locks? Evolution.

Tragically, since writing the note above, the rapper Ka has passed away at only 52-years-old. The cause of death is still unknown, but holy shit is that sad. A good and decent man who made great art and literally saved people’s lives. An underground and independent artist who was also a 9/11 first responder. The best of us.

It’s really annoying to me when someone like Andres Serrano will insist that they are “an artist with a camera” and “not a photographer”, like yeah we get you are an artist but you use a camera. You sound like a fucking egomaniac condemning anyone for putting you alongside any photographer.

Speed freaks with scripts have mental gymnastics’d themselves into believing they aren't drug addicts. Adderall made amphetamine habits so normal that we stopped using the term "speed" at all, it's all just "addies" which has an entirely different linguistic connotation. People hopped up on more speed than Lou Reed and Lester Bangs combined just going through life pretending they don’t feel totally insane.

I just rewatched Vox Lux and realized that movie is a masterpiece right up until the point that Natalie Portman appears in it. She’s its sole weakness, otherwise totally compelling, philosophically dense, historically accurate, and supremely vividly imagistic. Corbet likely didn’t have enough clout to tell Natalie Portman to chill a bit.

The UFC is currently enduring a low point in terms of marketing and narratives, but let’s face it: no other sports produces the monumental drama, Shakespearean theater and brutal beauty that mixed martial arts does. Every fight is a make or break moment for the athlete. Every exchange could potentially end years of glory. To watch Alex Pereira slowly breakdown and then eviscerate Khalil Roundtree feels like more than sports, it is martial ARTS. Its skills, techniques, strength, athleticism and conditioning, of course. But the greatest champions merely have an X factor that is a perfect will to power unparalleled in all other competitive athletics. They have channeled a mystical energy and yielded a glowing and terrifying aura that overwhelms and breaks even the strongest of competitors. This is what Alex Pereira is: a perfect specimen of will to power. A perfect artist, imposing his dream onto reality. 

Xiu Xiu is a band I once really liked having know idea that I’d be compelled to still listen to new albums of theirs 20 years later. Please retire. I’m not listening anymore. I don’t care. Apple Music only allows 100,000 tracks in the library and I’m not adding yours. Stop being so gay and needy. 

Maybe people think it’s affectation but this kind of thing always sounds incredible to me. Small Japanese old head banging at a guitar and chaotic vocal musing. I love it. Haino has a lot of releases. A shit load of them are unlistenable garbage. But when he locks in to the guitar and minimizes other elements (all that free improv/jazz bullshit can get fucked) it’s absolute incredible

I have not yet seen Megalopolis but enough try hard contrarian types have made enough public statements in support of it for me to know that it’s really fucking bad. I watched the Godfather 2 last week, still a mind blowing film. 3.5 hours that goes by like a short music video. Pacino riveting. DeNiro riveting. Let the past be the past. Coppola has been cooked since the eighties, you think he was going to get it together NOW of all times? Come on. Move on. Let’s build a culture for NOW. For ourselves. Millennial greatness is possible if we stop sobbing the knobs of boomer giants. Yes, we respect Coppola for what he’s done, but we don’t need him now. Why am I still paying $30 dollars to see new Scorsese movies, the motherfucker is like 90-years-old and decades past his prime and no longer understands the world. Killers of the Flower Moon was an absolute fucking snoozefest and the only way that Marty got it made was by making it an anti-white propaganda production. Harmony Korine, too: fuck everything about EDGLRD. The shit his “design collective” has been making is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. An old, Gen X burnout using US and OUR IDEAS to satisfy his own ego but without actually accepting the stakes and consequences of true edgelordism. The boomers and Gen Xers are such a stubborn cultural elite. I’m only a few years from 40 and still looming around the edges. IT’S OUR TIME! Let’s Seize OUR TIME! Let’s desecrate our idols, and build monuments to ourselves. 

I also still haven’t seen Joker 2, and if it’s bad as others say I’ll be bummed. My friends Bradford and Bienstock said it’s great, and my assumption is that Todd and Joaquin were trying to do something completely unprecedented with the budget they earned from the studio ($200 million plus) and that it will alienate the normie audiences who went to see it. It’s already been replaced by Terrifier 3 at the number one box office spot, but to me there’s something truly thrilling about making a billion dollars from a smaller budget, and then immediately tanking with the next movie on a massive budget. That’s drama. Shakespeare. Rises and falls and resurrections make for great artists. David Ehrlich thinks the movie is deliberately bad and this made me think. Joker is largely about the artist finding his own voice, so it’s thrilling to watch. Perhaps the sequel then is about the artist getting too much attention too quickly and becoming wildly self-indulgent and bombing it. We all have seen this story play out in the arts over and over. If Todd and Joaquin worked this concept to the point that they DELIBERATELY made the sequel a bomb to alienate audiences, then they are absolutely GOATed. That’s contemporary art.

My goal is to brainwash you, so it was only a matter of time before I launched a TikTok.

David Cronenberg says he is more inspired by books than films, which is a little corny but speaks to me on this level. I am a writer more inspired by films and visual art than I am books. But on a deeper level, I’m more inspired by BIOGRAPHIES than I am books, art or movies or music or anything else. I’m interested in the stories behind the artists, in what compelled them. What were the factors in their lives and histories around them that ultimately shaped their visions of the world? How did the aesthetics they achieve reflect those world views? I’m more inspired by other artists’ INSPIRATION; this is the central tenet of my philosophy and aesthetic. How do we come to our own conclusions? How do we shape our worldviews? And how do we put those worldviews out into the world in a way that can be aesthetically and contextually communicated to the audience? Francis Bacon’s bleak existentialist aesthetic honed through a childhood of physical sickness and brutal pig of a father who hated him for his effeminate nature. Ernst Junger; an artist shaped by the total landscape of violence he witnessed as a soldier during World War One. This is the kind of shit that gets my juices flowing. Anecdotes are what make me hard for art. 

Congrats on retirement to a truly game changing and six time champion Chris Bumstead. Making fucking millions and getting out while you’re still healthy is a truly touched life.